One might be mistaken for believing that Oxford has come under the jurisdiction of the Whore of Babylon going off the local rag – the Oxford Mail – this week. You might argue that could be a good thing but that’s one for another post…

Today, the illustrious rag features a piece on a local vicar complaining about children drunk and ‘having sex’ in his church yard. The alcohol seems well evidenced (like much of the country) and we are right to be concerned about this tiny minority of young people who do drink alcohol to excess underage – and we ought to work with families to address this. The sex point seems a bit more odd. No-one seems to have witnessed sex in the article (I can see how “vicar watches teens have sex in church yard” might take the story in a different direction), but the vicar comments that: “I notice the condoms in the path when I go to open up, and sometimes we pick up empty vodka bottles. You would think it would be in the summer, but it’s any time of year”.

I do like the implicit idea that you can understand a 13 year old having sex outside in the summer, but the winter, now come on that’s just plain naughtiness. There is no indication whether the condoms are used or not (and thus whether they are just young kids messing around with condoms or using them for sex) but at a time of sky-rocketing STD rates, isn’t it great that these kids are managing their sex lives? Doesn’t it perhaps show that even when pissed out of their skulls, these kids are switched on enough to think about their health and make reasoned decisions about pregnancy and/or sexual health?

Anyway, that’s just a minor story I stumbled upon and you can read it in full here. The real story that drove me to the Oxford Mail (for it is not my general source of news) appeared on Pink News on Friday. It’s the story of Sir Beville Stanier (only in England can we have people called that) who Pink News tells us is a ‘Tory grandee’ and also ‘a friend of the Queen.’ That’s not code apparently -they mean the little elderly lady we think of as Her Majesty.

Well, Sir Beville has got a spot of trouble with some blighters on his land. TB carrying badgers? Foxes? No, it’s those rampant horny men humping and bumping all over his modest 2000 acre estate. This noble knight of the realm (heaven help us) is upset at recent moves by the council to ‘clear up’ his site and install a new fence – which the Pink News helpfully tells us ‘can be accessed from a layby on the M40.’

Apparently, it’s not good enough and the blighters are returning for some nocturnal cruising. Now, one presumes this is not in direct sight of Sir Beville? If it is going on in trees one does wonder how he knows about it? Who exactly is it bothering? Why on earth are the Police maintaining a “presence” at the site, and why should Sir Beville get his way and have even more Police there? I for one suggest he dons his armor like knights of old and guards the fence himself, or alternatively digs into his presumably substantial pockets and pays for a new improved fence.

Check out the Pink news story here and the Oxford Mail story here.

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